Wine selection is important

A Little story about what happens to a Turkish guy who worked hard all his life to make some money and decide to enjoy his fortune in the end.
So he takes his family to a posh restaurant in Mayfair.
Here is what happens.

- Can I have your best wine, please.?
- Of course sir, Which year would you like?
- Well, I want it now.

http://www.freenewsfeed.com/headlines/?default=1

Do you now Boris Johnson?

As a Turkish person who lives in London I always come across same questions from my English friends. 

“Where is the best kebab in London? “ 

“Can you tell me where I can find the best lahmacun?” 

“Is the newly open Turkish hammam any good ?” 

“I need a gun, Can you get it for me from the Turkish Mafia?” etc.. 

I don’t recall myself asking where is the best fish & chips ? Where can I eat delicious shepherds pie? Or do you now Boris Johnson? Peh..

Turkish Job Application in London

Imagine your English is as poor as the ones on the silly reality TV shows. Immigrants usually learn English on the streets of London or at work from other immigrants so generally very basic and as they say “street” so here we go applying for the jobs generates humorous moments.

Friend of mine applied for a job with CV full of made up experiences. He is here for 4 years but looking at his CV you can say that he was born here. UNforfonunately he was caught not with the fake information he was providing. That one line on his CV got the attention of the employer and that was it.  Lets see if you guys can notice. On his CV he was outlining his personal skills.

-I am a Team worker who doesn’t scared of using initiative when time is right. I focus on projects with a great attention to details.

Another example of job applications made by Turkish friends,

-I want this job very much because I need money.

-I leave my other company because boss was bastard.

-I am very good worker. If you don’t give me the job Allah will punish you.

Example of answers for reference requests made by the companies.

-My cousin works here. His name is Ali. Talk to him. He knows me.

-Mr. Cengiz: Works at off-licence.

-Mr. Richard 0776***5462 (obviously & stupidly his own mobile number)