As a Turkish Immigrant in London, you come across many interesting conversations when you hang out in Turkish cafes, restaurants, famous social clubs..
Here is the example of a real conversation I heard while sipping my cappuccino looking flat white in one of the Turkish places in Hackney. It's about their work. So you guys should understand that immigrants work hard.. very hard..
A-I am fed up with my boss man.. he is taking a piss..
B- Whats his problem.?
A-I told him that I need more hours but instead, he cut my hours to 70 a week.
B- Man, you used to do 80 hours a week. Why he cut your hours to 70?
A- Cause he says business is slow but I need at least 90 hours a week so I can save some money.
B- Just tell him man. They just trying you. Once I asked my boss for a pay rise. He said NO!. I told him if he doesn't give me £2 pound an hour instead of £1.80 I said I am going to quit. He was moaning but he start to give me £2 now. So you gotta be strong man.
A- Yeah man, He is taking a piss. I need at least 90 hours a week so I can save some money and open my own take -away kebab shop in 5 years time.
B- Soon man. I will buy a kebab van soon. Good money and fewer hours.. you only open 7 days a week but you don't have to open before 10 AM.
Friday, 25 March 2016
Thursday, 10 March 2016
How to make profit from Tate Modern
I decide to add some color in my life and take my Turkish friend to the Tate Modern for the first time in his life.
There you see his opinions and suggestions on how to run Tate Modern properly and make some money..
-Too much brick my friend. way too much. cover the walls with cheap concrete then you can sell them bricks as reclaim stuff to the trendy newcomers in Hackney.
-Why is this big chimney thing there doing for nothing? I would rent it to the billboard company. get some ad money.
-Gift shop? silly idea.. turn this silly gift shop to an off-licence. you make a killing. since I don't see many around this stretch of the river anyway..
- This empty hall is such a waste.. turn it into car park.. its very expensive to park here, thanks god i have my late aunts disable badge. anyway, i would put my cousin here by the door and charge each car set fee of 10 quid. you make a killing.
- silly stuff on the wall. you call this art? I bring my cousin here to paint them wall with nice village scenery, cows and sheep and some moving waterfall frame.. or go to IKEA they have some nice pictures there and very cheap.
- electricity bill here must be high here. get rid of these funny lights.. I 'll bring my cousin here to install fivehundredmillionzillion fluorescent lights here so people can see the art properly.
There you see his opinions and suggestions on how to run Tate Modern properly and make some money..
-Too much brick my friend. way too much. cover the walls with cheap concrete then you can sell them bricks as reclaim stuff to the trendy newcomers in Hackney.
-Why is this big chimney thing there doing for nothing? I would rent it to the billboard company. get some ad money.
-Gift shop? silly idea.. turn this silly gift shop to an off-licence. you make a killing. since I don't see many around this stretch of the river anyway..
- This empty hall is such a waste.. turn it into car park.. its very expensive to park here, thanks god i have my late aunts disable badge. anyway, i would put my cousin here by the door and charge each car set fee of 10 quid. you make a killing.
- silly stuff on the wall. you call this art? I bring my cousin here to paint them wall with nice village scenery, cows and sheep and some moving waterfall frame.. or go to IKEA they have some nice pictures there and very cheap.
- electricity bill here must be high here. get rid of these funny lights.. I 'll bring my cousin here to install fivehundredmillionzillion fluorescent lights here so people can see the art properly.
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